Author’s practical guidance
When the anger is bigger than the moment
Everything else in this book assumes ordinary exhaustion — the kind that improves with sleep, food and an hour alone.
Do this
- Tell one person today, even badly, even by message.
- Book the appointment before you feel ready. Readiness is not something that arrives on its own.
- Write the list down and hand it over rather than trying to explain.
- If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your child, treat it as urgent — contact your doctor or emergency services today. Such thoughts are common in exhausted parents and are not the same as intent, but they always need telling somebody immediately.
Avoid this
- Wait until you have a reason good enough to justify asking for help.
- Compare yourself with somebody who has it worse. Everybody has somebody.
- Assume it will pass on its own because you have been coping for months.
If it repeats
Depression and anxiety in parents are common, well understood and treatable. Left alone they tend to last; treated, they usually improve quickly. Neither is a fact about your love for your child.
Why the book suggests this
Everything else in this book assumes ordinary exhaustion — the kind that improves with sleep, food and an hour alone. Some of it is not that, and the difference matters more than any script on any other page.
The signs below are not about how much you love your child, and they are not a verdict on your parenting. They are the same kind of information as a temperature: worth measuring, and worth acting on.
From this collection
Same Words: Every Grown-Up
45 prepared situations in this family area.