Author’s practical guidance
Eating in front of it
Source named in the book: the division of responsibility in feeding (Satter)
It works.
Say this now
“Food at the table. The screen waits.”
One rule, said the same way every time.
“Are you full, or is there room?”
Hands the decision back where it belongs.
Do this
- Take the screen out of the room rather than turning it off within sight.
- Expect them to eat less at first. That is their appetite reappearing, not a problem.
- Keep meals short — twenty minutes is plenty and it makes sitting possible.
- Change one meal first.
- Let them leave when done rather than requiring them to sit through your meal too.
Avoid this
- Using it to get one more spoonful in. The spoonful was never the goal.
- "Just while we finish." The finishing is the part being taken away.
- Removing it mid-meal as a punishment. Now the meal is a fight as well.
If it repeats
If they will genuinely not eat without it, start with one meal a day and hold that. Expect a fortnight of less food and no drama about it from you, which is the part that makes the fortnight work.
Why the book suggests this
It works. A child who will not sit will sit, and food goes in that would not otherwise have gone in. That is exactly the trouble with it, because what went in did so without anybody noticing, including the child.
Feeding at this age rests on a division of labor: you decide what is offered and when, and the child decides whether and how much. The second half needs a child who can feel full and act on it. A screen at the table quietly removes their side of that, and eating stops being something they are doing.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Every Screen
45 prepared situations in this family area.