Author’s practical guidance
You need the screen to get through the day
Book title: You cannot get through a day without handing it over
Source named in the book: parental burnout research (Roskam & Mikolajczak)
The problem may be adult exhaustion rather than one screen-time rule.
Important
If you may harm yourself or someone else, contact local emergency or crisis support now. This site cannot provide crisis care.
Say this now
“I'm having a hard day. It isn't your fault.”
Children assume it is them. Say the sentence.
“I need to sit down for ten minutes.”
Said to them, and also to another adult if there is one.
Do this
- Tell one other adult the true version rather than the manageable one.
- Ask your own doctor, not only the pediatrician. This one is about you.
- Take the help offered even when it is not the help you wanted.
- Drop something else this week.
- Stop measuring the screen time until you are further along. It is the wrong number right now.
Avoid this
- Setting yourself a stricter rule about screens. That is not the thing that is wrong.
- Waiting until you have a reason good enough to ask. Tired enough is a reason.
- Assuming everybody feels like this. Many do. It is still worth saying out loud.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF
- Most days have felt like this for more than two weeks.
- You feel distant from your child, or numb toward them.
- You dread the hours you are alone with them.
- You are not sleeping even when the child is.
- You have thoughts of harming yourself. Say so today.
Why the book suggests this
This page is about you. Every parent uses a screen to get through a day sometimes. What is different is a stretch where you cannot manage any part of the day without one, and where the reason is that there is nothing left of you rather than anything about your child.
Parental exhaustion of that depth is a described condition with a course of its own, and it does not resolve by trying harder. It is also common, it responds to help and the help is not complicated. Reaching for the screen more is a symptom of it rather than a failure of yours.
From this collection
Same Words: Every Screen
45 prepared situations in this family area.