Author’s practical guidance
Throwing food from the table
Source named in the book: Positive Discipline (Nelsen) · PCIT
At this age throwing food usually means one of two things: I have finished, or look what happens.
Say this now
“Food stays on the table. Are you all done?”
Names the rule and offers the exit in one breath.
“You can put it in the bowl if you don't want it.”
Gives the hand something legitimate to do.
Do this
- Say it once, calmly, then end the meal. That is a natural consequence, not a punishment.
- Give them a "no thank you" bowl for rejected food.
- Serve small portions — less ammunition, and it can always be topped up.
- Learn the signal that means done and get them down before the throwing starts.
- Let them help clear up afterwards, without it being a punishment.
Avoid this
- "STOP IT!" — a big reaction is a great reward.
- Long lectures about wasting food, delivered to someone with no concept of it.
- Picking it all up immediately while they watch — that is part two of the game.
If it repeats
Check the timing. Overtired and overhungry toddlers throw more, and a meal that starts twenty minutes late produces most of the trouble. Getting them down before it begins saves you from reacting after.
Why the book suggests this
At this age throwing food usually means one of two things: I have finished, or look what happens. Neither is defiance. A small child dropping peas over the edge is running a physics experiment with excellent equipment and an enthusiastic audience.
The audience is the part you control. A gasp, a laugh or a lecture is a spectacular result for a small scientist, and it is the reason the experiment gets repeated tomorrow.
From this collection
Same Words: Both Parents
45 prepared situations in this family area.