Author’s practical guidance
The endless "why?"
Source named in the book: Montessori · Faber & King
Somewhere around three, "why" arrives and does not leave.
Say this now
“That's a good question. What do you think?”
Returns the question, and often reveals what they were actually asking.
“I don't know. Let's find out later — shoes first.”
Honest, and it separates curiosity from stalling without dismissing either.
Do this
- Answer the first two properly. Most chains die there.
- Answer at their level of detail, not at yours. One sentence is usually enough.
- Turn it back: "Why do YOU think the moon is following us?"
- Keep a "wonder list" on the fridge for questions you will look up together.
- Name the stalling gently when it is stalling: "That's a bedtime question. Ask me tomorrow."
Avoid this
- "Because I said so." — ends the conversation and teaches that reasons are a privilege.
- A ten-minute scientific answer to a four-word question.
- "Stop asking why!" when the asking is the developmental work of this year.
If it repeats
If "why" spikes at the same moment every day — bedtime, the front door, the bath — it is not curiosity, it is a delay tactic that works. Answer warmly, keep moving, and it fades within a couple of weeks.
Why the book suggests this
Somewhere around three, "why" arrives and does not leave. Most of the time it is exactly what it looks like — a child who has discovered that the world has reasons and that adults hold them.
But a substantial share of "why" is something else: a way of keeping you talking, or a way of postponing shoes. Learning to tell the two apart is the whole skill, and the tell is simple — a genuine question moves forward, a stalling question circles.
From this collection
Same Words: Both Parents
45 prepared situations in this family area.