Author’s practical guidance
Catching it before the point of no return
Source named in the book: Faber & King
There is a short window between the first signs of a storm and the moment it takes over: the voice climbing, the shoulders going up, the body getting fast.
Say this now
“Let's find everything blue. That curtain is blue.”
Then keep going yourself. They join when they are ready — do not require it.
“I can hear your voice getting big. Let's go somewhere quiet.”
Name it without alarm, and move before it peaks.
Do this
- Lower the input first: a dimmer room, away from the kitchen noise and cooking smells.
- Make statements, not questions. "That book is blue." Nothing is demanded of them.
- Keep your voice flat and unhurried — slower than feels natural.
- Pick one category only: a color, round things, things made of wood.
- Stop and switch to comfort if it does not land within a minute. Past the window, less is more.
Avoid this
- "What's wrong?" and "Do you want Elmo?" — a question asks for thinking, which is the first thing to go.
- "Look, a bird!" — obvious distraction is spotted and resented.
- Raising your own pace to match theirs.
If it repeats
Learn your child's two or three early signals and you buy yourself this window most days. Practice the game when nothing is wrong, so it is familiar rather than novel when you need it.
Why the book suggests this
There is a short window between the first signs of a storm and the moment it takes over: the voice climbing, the shoulders going up, the body getting fast. Inside that window a child can still be reached. Past it, only the approach on page one works.
What helps in the window is not persuasion but attention — moving it out of the rising feeling and onto the room. Give the mind one small sorting job with a guaranteed answer, and the escalation frequently stops.
Related prepared situations
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Same Words: Both Parents
45 prepared situations in this family area.