Author’s practical guidance
Following two- and three-step instructions
Source named in the book: executive function research (Diamond) · Montessori
"Put your shoes on and get your bag" is two instructions, and by the time the second arrives the first has usually displaced it.
Say this now
“Shoes first. Come back and I'll tell you the next one.”
One at a time, with the next one promised. That is what makes it progress rather than nagging.
“Tell me what you're going to do.”
Saying it back moves it out of your memory and into theirs.
Do this
- Get eye contact before you spend the instruction.
- One instruction, then wait for it to finish.
- Ask them to repeat it back. At three this roughly doubles what survives.
- Add the second step only after the first has landed.
- Use the same order every day, so the sequence becomes a habit rather than a memory task.
Avoid this
- Chaining three instructions into one sentence.
- Repeating the whole chain louder.
- "You only listen when you want to." — they listened. They could not hold it.
If it repeats
One step at two, two at three, three by four or four and a half — and all of it drops by one when they are tired, hungry or absorbed in something else. Expect a bad day to cost you a step.
Why the book suggests this
"Put your shoes on and get your bag" is two instructions, and by the time the second arrives the first has usually displaced it. Working memory at three holds roughly two items at once, and an instruction competes with everything else in the room for that space.
This is not selective hearing. A child who does the first half and forgets the second has done exactly what their memory allows.
From this collection
Same Words: Big Skills
45 prepared situations in this family area.