Author’s practical guidance
Answering endless questions curiosity-first
Source named in the book: children's questions research (Engel; Harris) · Montessori
Why is the sky blue, why is that man old, why, why, why.
Say this now
“I don't know. How could we find out?”
Not knowing is allowed, and the second half turns it into something you do together.
“What do you think?”
Use it sometimes, not every time — used constantly it reads as refusing to answer.
Do this
- Answer in one sentence first and wait to see whether more is wanted.
- Say when you do not know, then look it up in front of them.
- Keep it true. A wrong answer given now will be repeated at daycare next week.
- Notice which questions come back. A repeated question means the first answer did not land.
- Ask your own out loud about things you genuinely wonder about.
Avoid this
- "Because that's how it is." — closes the question and, repeated, closes the asking.
- A three-minute explanation of something they wondered about for four seconds.
- "You're asking too many questions."
If it repeats
Questions start around two and a half and peak between three and five, when many children ask dozens in a day. What varies is not curiosity but how long it survives — the asking continues where the answering has been worth it.
Why the book suggests this
Why is the sky blue, why is that man old, why, why, why. It is easy to hear this as a delaying tactic. Mostly it is not: children ask real questions, listen to the answers, and ask more when the answers were good — which is exactly what a person seeking information does.
The catch is that the answers have to be true and short. A long lecture ends the exchange as effectively as a brush-off, and children ask fewer questions of adults who have previously answered badly.
From this collection
Same Words: Big Skills
45 prepared situations in this family area.