Author’s practical guidance
"Where is the baby right now?"
Source named in the book: how children build explanations (Harris) · AAP
Children this age build explanations out of whatever parts they already have.
Say this now
“The baby is in a special place inside me called the uterus. It is not where food goes.”
The real word, said once and calmly. The swallowing theory needs correcting.
“That is a good question. I don't know that one — let's find out together.”
Saying this keeps the questions coming to you, not elsewhere.
Do this
- Use the real word for the body part, said plainly and without ceremony.
- Give one sentence and wait — they will ask for more if they want more.
- Keep your face neutral; they read discomfort faster than they read words.
- Use a picture book with simple anatomy, not a metaphor.
- Say "I don't know" out loud when you don't.
Avoid this
- "I'll tell you when you're older." — they will ask someone else instead.
- Storks and cabbage patches — anything you will have to undo later costs more than it saves.
- A twenty-minute lecture — in answer to a five-second question.
If it repeats
Repeated questions mean the explanation has not yet clicked into place. Change the medium rather than the message: draw it, show a book, use a doll. The third version is often the one that lands.
Why the book suggests this
Children this age build explanations out of whatever parts they already have. If the answer is vague, they do not stay puzzled — they fill the gap themselves, and what they invent is usually more alarming than the truth.
A four-year-old who hears that the baby is in mommy's tummy may reasonably conclude it was swallowed. That is not a silly mistake. It is correct reasoning from the words they were given.
From this collection
Same Words: Two Children
45 prepared situations in this family area.