Author’s practical guidance
Milk at three in the morning
Source named in the book: the division of responsibility in feeding (Satter)
Satter's division of responsibility puts what and when with the adult and how much with the child.
Say this now
“Milk is at breakfast. Water is in your bed.”
Keeps the food decisions yours and still leaves them something at three in the morning.
“You can have as much water as you want.”
Removes the reason to call you while the offer stays generous.
Do this
- Water the bottle down across a week until it is water.
- Move the calories into the day: a real snack before the routine starts.
- Put the cup where they can reach it and show them in daylight.
- Keep milk out of the bed for the teeth as much as for the sleep.
- Change one thing at a time so you know what worked.
Avoid this
- Filling the cup a little fuller each night to buy sleep — it enlarges the reason to wake.
- "You're not hungry." — you cannot know that, and it starts an argument you lose.
- Cutting it overnight without changing the day — real calories have to land somewhere.
If it repeats
If they still wake hungry after two weeks and eat little at dinner, the shape of the day is the problem rather than the night. Look at the afternoon snack — a late one takes the edge off dinner and puts the hunger straight back at three in the morning.
Why the book suggests this
Satter's division of responsibility puts what and when with the adult and how much with the child. A bottle at three hands the when to a two-year-old, and it also feeds itself: calories at night mean less appetite at breakfast, which puts the hunger back where it was.
Past the first year the night drink is habit and thirst rather than need. Water does the thirst. What the milk does is give the waking a point, and there is a dental cost to it sitting on the teeth until morning.
From this collection
Same Words: Every Night
45 prepared situations in this family area.