Author’s practical guidance
New bed, new room, new baby
Source named in the book: adaptability to change (Chess & Thomas)
Changes land badly when they arrive together, and they usually do: the new baby needs the crib, so the older child gets a bed, a different room and a rival inside a fortnight.
Say this now
“Your bed comes first. The baby's room happens later.”
Separates the two events in time, which is the whole method here.
“Same bedtime, same story, same words. Only the bed is new.”
Lists what did not change — a longer list than they think.
Do this
- Move the bed six to eight weeks before the baby arrives, or well after.
- Change one thing at a time with a settled fortnight between.
- Keep the routine identical through every one of them.
- Let them choose something small — the sheets, the side, where the lamp goes.
- Expect a slow adapter to need six weeks and plan the calendar for that.
Avoid this
- Moving them out of the crib the week the baby comes — they will link the two, and they will be right.
- "You're the big one now." — promotion is not compensation for what they have lost.
- Doing all three changes in one weekend to get it over with — the fast version is the one that costs a month.
If it repeats
If the nights are still hard two months after the last change, stop adding and hold everything exactly as it is for a fortnight. Slow adapters look like they are getting worse right up until they settle, and the usual mistake is a new plan introduced in week five.
Why the book suggests this
Changes land badly when they arrive together, and they usually do: the new baby needs the crib, so the older child gets a bed, a different room and a rival inside a fortnight. Each is survivable. Three at once produces a month of nights.
Chess and Thomas describe adaptability as a trait with a wide range. A child who adapts slowly is not being difficult about the bed — they take longer with every change, and the only lever you control is how many you hand over at once.
From this collection
Same Words: Every Night
45 prepared situations in this family area.