Author’s practical guidance
Cries at the smell of a new dish before it's even served
Source named in the book: food neophobia (Wardle & Cooke)
Neophobia does not wait for a fork — smell alone can trigger the same wariness a bite would, because the nose does the same job the mouth eventually will: screening something unfamiliar before it counts as safe.
Say this now
“That's a new smell. You don't have to eat it, just breathe.”
Names what's happening without asking for more.
“It can cook in the kitchen. You'll see it when you're ready.”
Offers control over the pace.
Do this
- Let them stay in another room during cooking if the smell is too much at first.
- Reintroduce the smell in small doses — a nearby room, then the doorway, then the table.
- Cook the same dish repeatedly over weeks, at low intensity.
- Stay calm and matter-of-fact yourself while cooking it.
- Never require them to sit through real distress — backing off preserves trust for next time.
Avoid this
- "It's just smell, it's not even in front of you." — dismisses a reaction that is real even without contact.
- Removing the dish from the room the moment they cry — teaches that crying ends any encounter with something new.
- Forcing them to stay at the table while it's served, upset — adds distress on top of an already overwhelmed reaction.
If it repeats
If strong reactions to smell extend well beyond food — loud rooms, certain fabrics, crowded places — that is a broader sensory pattern worth mentioning at a checkup, not something to solve at the table alone.
Why the book suggests this
Neophobia does not wait for a fork — smell alone can trigger the same wariness a bite would, because the nose does the same job the mouth eventually will: screening something unfamiliar before it counts as safe. A strong reaction to smell is the system working early, not a sign of anything wrong.
Crying usually means the warning has outpaced the child's ability to say what is happening — at two or three there is often not yet a calmer way to say "that's new." The intensity is about the newness, not the dish being bad.
From this collection
Same Words: At the Table
45 prepared situations in this family area.