Author’s practical guidance
Notices a parent skipping a food and refuses to eat it either
Source named in the book: parental modeling of food acceptance (Wardle & Cooke)
Modeling runs both directions at the table, and a child who notices a parent quietly avoiding a food learns just as much from that as from a parent eating it with enthusiasm.
Say this now
“I don't love this one either, but I'm having a little.”
Names the honest truth while still modeling the behavior.
“Let's both try a bite.”
Frames it as something you're doing together, not asking of them alone.
Do this
- Eat the foods you want your child to eat, at least occasionally, visibly.
- Choose a different food to skip quietly if a genuine dislike exists.
- Avoid narrating your own food dislikes at the table.
- Serve the food regardless of whether you're eating it yourself that day.
- Notice which foods you consistently skip. A pattern teaches more than any single meal.
Avoid this
- "Eat your vegetables, even though I'm not eating mine." — asks for a standard that isn't being modeled in the room.
- Hiding your own avoidance by eating the food only when watched — an inconsistency a child usually notices anyway.
- Forcing yourself to eat something you dislike, indefinitely, to model it — not sustainable and not necessary for one food.
If it repeats
If this covers a wide range of foods and is clearly tied to your own consistent avoidance, working on your own range at the table moves this faster than any approach aimed only at the child.
Why the book suggests this
Modeling runs both directions at the table, and a child who notices a parent quietly avoiding a food learns just as much from that as from a parent eating it with enthusiasm. Cooke and Wardle's research on parental modeling found children track what adults actually eat far more closely than what adults say about food.
This is not a child being contrary — it is the same trust-based learning that makes modeling work as a tool in the first place, simply running against a parent rather than for them in this particular moment.
From this collection
Same Words: At the Table
45 prepared situations in this family area.