Author’s practical guidance
Coming back out of it at the other end
Source named in the book: reactivity and recovery time (Rothbart)
The useful screen ends in the worst possible place: a clinic corridor, a baggage hall, a car park in the rain.
Say this now
“It goes off before we stand up.”
Separates the two hard things by a few minutes.
“Hold my hand. You can be mad while we walk.”
Lets the mood come along instead of resolving it.
Do this
- End it several minutes before you actually have to move, not as you move.
- Give them a job for the walk — a bag, a button, something to carry.
- Say nothing for the first minutes and let the come-down happen while you walk.
- Expect this ending to be worse.
- Do the debrief at home if at all, hours later, when everyone is on the floor again.
Avoid this
- Ending it as you stand up to leave. Now the come-down and the walk are the same event.
- Explaining why it has to go off here. Reasons are for later. This is not a talking moment.
- Deciding never to use it again because of this. The tool was fine. The ending had no resources.
If it repeats
If every useful screen ends this badly, move the ending earlier rather than shortening the slot. The last ten minutes of a journey are worth more to you than the last ten minutes of a show are to them.
Why the book suggests this
The useful screen ends in the worst possible place: a clinic corridor, a baggage hall, a car park in the rain. Everything that normally helps a child come down from a screen is unavailable, and you are usually carrying things.
The come-down itself is ordinary and it varies by child, but here you have no room, no time and nowhere to put them. That is why these endings go so much worse than the ones at home, and it is worth knowing in advance rather than concluding that the trip was a mistake.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Every Screen
45 prepared situations in this family area.