Author’s practical guidance
They crash after it goes off
Book title: The crash that comes after it goes off
Source named in the book: reactivity and recovery time (Rothbart)
The screen ends and the next part of the day falls apart.
Important
This card offers general educational guidance. It cannot assess severe distress, injury risk or a developmental concern.
Say this now
“That's a hard change. Come here a minute.”
Names it and offers a body, not a conversation.
“You don't have to be happy about it.”
Removes the second fight, about the mood itself.
Do this
- Leave the first ten minutes empty of instructions, questions and any transition.
- Move them physically — outside, up, into water. It shortens the come-down.
- Time their recovery once so you know whether it is five minutes or twenty-five.
- Put the ending earlier.
- Stop ending it right before something that has to happen on time. That is two hard things at once.
Avoid this
- Asking a question in the first two minutes. There is nobody available to answer it yet.
- Treating the crash as proof they cannot handle screens. It is recovery time, not evidence.
- Going straight into the next demand. Shoes, teeth and dinner all land badly here.
If it repeats
If the crash runs longer than about half an hour every time, treat it as information about the slot rather than about your child. Shorter, earlier and less exciting all reduce the drop, and one of the three usually does it.
Why the book suggests this
The screen goes off and the next twenty minutes are worse than the whole day was. This is not the screen punishing you. A child who has been held at a high level of interest comes down from it, and coming down takes time that varies enormously from child to child.
How fast a child recovers from a peak is one of the stable ways children differ from one another. The slow ones are not more attached to the screen; they take longer to come back from everything, and you will have seen the same thing after a party. What helps is not a better ending. It is what you put in the twenty minutes after it.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Every Screen
45 prepared situations in this family area.