Author’s practical guidance
Finding out what they saw without interrogating them
Source named in the book: children's understanding of testimony (Harris)
You want to know what was on at the other house and the obvious way to ask is the one that works worst.
Say this now
“Tell me about the afternoon.”
Wide open. Whatever comes first is what mattered.
“And then what happened?”
Keeps it going without adding anything of yours.
Do this
- Ask open questions first and stay with them for as long as they are producing.
- Let silence do the work rather than filling it with a narrower question.
- Ask once, not three times, and take the first answer as the one they have.
- Save the specific question for last.
- Do it sideways — in the bath or the car, where nobody is being questioned.
Avoid this
- "Was there anything frightening?" The question hands them the frightening thing.
- Asking the same question repeatedly. Repetition tells them the first answer was wrong.
- Pressing when they have finished talking. You will get invention rather than information.
If it repeats
If something clearly upset them and you cannot get to what it was, stop trying to establish it. What helps a child at this age is not naming the thing but the ordinary evening afterwards, and it usually surfaces on its own within a few days.
Why the book suggests this
You want to know what was on at the other house and the obvious way to ask is the one that works worst. Small children take a great deal of what they are told and fold it into their own account, so a question that contains an answer tends to come back to you as a memory.
Ask whether there was something scary and there is a decent chance there was. Ask what happened and you get what they have. The difference is not honesty. Children this age are building an account of a confusing afternoon and they will gratefully accept any help you offer with it.
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