Author’s practical guidance
The reaction to this ending is not like other endings
Source named in the book: reactivity and recovery time (Rothbart)
Every child protests when a screen goes off.
Say this now
“That's a big feeling. I'm here.”
Short enough to say in the middle of it.
“You can be this mad. It stays off.”
Separates the feeling from the outcome.
Do this
- Time the recovery after three different endings and write the numbers down.
- Compare with their own baseline, not with another child or with your expectations.
- Check the ordinary causes first — sleep, hunger, illness, anything new at home.
- Keep endings identical for a week.
- Bring the numbers to the appointment, because they answer the first question you will be asked.
Avoid this
- Comparing them with a calmer child. Different baselines. The comparison tells you nothing.
- Treating intensity as defiance. It is how strongly they react, not a choice.
- Removing screens and calling it solved. If it shows up at every ending, screens were not the issue.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF
- Far larger here than at every other ending.
- Coming back takes more than an hour, most times.
- They hurt themselves or others during it, repeatedly.
- It has grown steadily worse over months.
- The same intensity is appearing across the whole day.
Why the book suggests this
Every child protests when a screen goes off. The useful comparison is not against other children but against your own child at other endings: leaving the park, stopping a game, coming out of the bath.
Children differ enormously in how hard they react and how long they take to come back, and a child who is intense everywhere is being consistent rather than worrying. What is worth raising is a reaction that stands out from that child's own baseline — much bigger here than anywhere else, or lasting far longer than their usual recovery.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Every Screen
45 prepared situations in this family area.