Author’s practical guidance
The transition formula that works anywhere
Source named in the book: RIE (Gerber) · Positive Discipline (Nelsen)
Every switch costs a toddler something.
Say this now
“Two more minutes, then blocks go to sleep.”
“Last one. Then we go — you can wave bye.”
Do this
- Get close. Eye level, in the same room — not across it.
- Warn once. Two minutes, one timer, no repeats.
- Name the ending. "Last slide," "last page" — a finish line they can see.
- Give the next thing a shape. "We go, then snack." Leaving is easier when there is somewhere to arrive.
Avoid this
- Announcing a change from another room — instructions shouted across a space rarely arrive.
- "In a minute!" when you actually mean now.
- Counting to three as a threat rather than as a warning.
If it repeats
Fewer transitions beat better transitions. Group your errands, protect long blocks of play, and expect resistance when they are tired or hungry — those are the two hours when no formula works well.
Why the book suggests this
Every switch costs a toddler something. Play to dinner, bath to bed, home to car — each one asks a child to stop doing a thing they chose and start doing a thing you chose, on your timetable. At two and three that is genuinely hard work.
Which is why transitions are the single most common trigger for meltdowns at this age, and why the same four steps work at the playground, at grandma's, at bedtime and in the supermarket. Learn the formula once and you stop inventing a strategy for every doorway.
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