Author’s practical guidance
Leaving the playground
Source named in the book: RIE (Gerber) · Positive Discipline (Nelsen)
For a toddler, a good thing ending is a small grief.
Say this now
“Two more minutes. I'll tell you when it's the last slide.”
A warning is only a warning if you deliver the second half of it.
“You wish we could stay ALL day. And it's time to go. Hand or carry?”
Agree with the feeling, hold the ending, offer a choice about the how.
Do this
- Give the warning up close, at eye level — not shouted across the playground.
- Announce the last turn, then follow through on that turn.
- Walking away with a crying child is a win, not a failure.
- Have the next thing ready: a snack, a job, the stroller.
- Say goodbye to the place out loud. Endings need a ritual more than they need a reason.
Avoid this
- "We're leaving NOW!" out of nowhere — an ending with no approach is an ambush.
- "Fine, five more minutes" after the tears — teaches that crying buys time.
- Counting down from the bench, shouted across the whole playground.
If it repeats
Use the same exit ritual every time: last slide, wave goodbye to the playground, snack in the stroller. Predictability beats persuasion — a child who knows the shape of leaving fights it less, even while still hating it.
Why the book suggests this
For a toddler, a good thing ending is a small grief. They cannot yet hold the idea that the playground will still be there tomorrow — and a tomorrow they cannot picture is no comfort today.
This is why transitions are the single most common trigger for meltdowns at this age. Nothing has gone wrong when your child cries at the gate. Something has ended, and they have no way of making that acceptable yet.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Both Parents
45 prepared situations in this family area.