Author’s practical guidance
"Mama? Mama? MAMA!" — interrupting
Source named in the book: PCIT · Positive Discipline (Nelsen)
A three-year-old has almost no sense of the line.
Say this now
“Put your hand on my arm and I'll know you're waiting.”
Gives them something to do with the urgency instead of a shout.
“I heard you. I'm finishing my sentence, then it's your turn.”
Acknowledge instantly, deliver slightly later. The acknowledgement is what stops the escalation.
Do this
- Teach the hand signal when nothing is happening, not mid-conversation.
- Respond to the hand immediately at first — within seconds — then stretch the wait.
- Say when their turn comes and then actually give it: "Now. What did you want to tell me?"
- Set them up before a call with something absorbing and a clear time: "Until the timer beeps."
- Praise the waiting out loud the moment it happens.
Avoid this
- Responding only when it reaches a shout — you have just taught them the volume that works.
- "Can't you see I'm TALKING?" — they can. They do not yet know what it obliges them to do.
- Ignoring completely until the pulling starts.
If it repeats
Interrupting spikes when a child has had little of you all day — phone calls and adult conversations are precisely when it shows. Ten minutes of undivided attention beforehand buys you most of the call.
Why the book suggests this
A three-year-old has almost no sense of the line. When something occurs to them, it occurs now, and waiting for a gap in an adult conversation is a skill that has not arrived yet.
The escalation — louder, then pulling your clothes, then hanging off your leg — is not rudeness. It is a child working through the tools available until one produces a response. Which one you respond to is the one they will use next time.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Both Parents
45 prepared situations in this family area.