Author’s practical guidance
Everything ends up in his mouth
Source named in the book: AAP · sibling relationships research (Dunn)
Mouthing and pulling things apart is how a one-year-old investigates.
Say this now
“Small pieces come out when he's asleep. That's your time.”
A time slot rather than a prohibition. The play survives, which is the whole point.
“He's not being mean. His mouth is how he learns. Your table is where he can't.”
Explains the younger child and supplies the solution in the same sentence.
Do this
- Give the small-piece play a time slot rather than a rule: naps, evenings, early mornings.
- Use height and a hard surface rather than floor space for detailed work.
- Check the floor before the younger one is put down, every single time.
- Explain the mouthing to the older child once, plainly, as a fact about age.
- Never blame the older child for a swallowed piece — that was the adult's job.
Avoid this
- Banning small pieces from the house until the baby is older.
- "Play with something he can play with too." — removes the older child's own age from the room.
- Leaving them together with small parts and hoping.
If it repeats
If the older child stops taking out the toys they love, the arrangement is not working. They have solved the problem by giving up, which is the outcome to avoid.
Why the book suggests this
Mouthing and pulling things apart is how a one-year-old investigates. It is not optional behavior that better parenting would prevent, and it will not be reasoned away. Meanwhile the older child has arrived at the age of tiny pieces — small figures, thin bricks, delicate builds.
Those two developmental stages are simply incompatible on one shared floor. Trying to make them coexist by instruction fails both children: the little one is constantly wrong for being little, and the older one is constantly asked to give up the play their age is made for.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Two Children
45 prepared situations in this family area.