Author’s practical guidance
The monster under the bed
Source named in the book: behavioral inhibition (Kagan)
Fear of imagined creatures shows up around three, later than fear of dogs or strangers, because it needs an imagination good enough to build one.
Say this now
“Monsters aren't real. Being scared is real, and I'll stay a minute.”
Both halves matter: you neither confirm the monster nor argue with the fear.
“This room is the same room it was at lunchtime.”
Points at something they can check themselves.
Do this
- Say the same short thing every night and do not extend it.
- Keep stories and screens clear of anything frightening, for a few weeks.
- Give them a job: a flashlight by the pillow that they switch on themselves.
- Let the fear be small — no long discussions at bedtime, no analysis in the morning.
- Expect a few weeks, not a technique that ends it in one night.
Avoid this
- "There's no such thing as monsters." — true, and it settles nothing: they can still see it.
- Monster spray or a monster trap — it works for a week and confirms there is something to spray.
- Searching the room together every night — the search becomes the proof that searching is needed.
If it repeats
Fears at this age move rather than disappear — the monster becomes the shadow, then the noise downstairs. If it stays on one subject for months and starts eating the daytime too, raise it with your doctor rather than managing it at the bedroom door.
Why the book suggests this
Fear of imagined creatures shows up around three, later than fear of dogs or strangers, because it needs an imagination good enough to build one. The equipment that makes the monster is the equipment that will make stories later — a step forward that costs you a fortnight.
Kagan's work on inhibited children explains why it lands harder on some. A child who is quick to alarm in daylight is quick to alarm in a dark room, and at this age they cannot yet sort what they imagined from what they heard.
From this collection
Same Words: Every Night
45 prepared situations in this family area.