Author’s practical guidance
They know something about bodies nobody taught them
Source named in the book: Finkelhor
Children collect information constantly and from everywhere — an older cousin, a screen left on, a playground conversation, a half-heard adult joke.
Say this now
“That's interesting — where did you hear about that?”
Curious, level, asked once. Then stop.
“Thank you. You're not in trouble.”
Whatever the answer is. Say it before you know.
Do this
- Ask once, openly, and never supply a name or a place yourself.
- Write down their words the same day, exactly as they said them.
- Check the ordinary sources: screens, older children, a movie, another household.
- Keep your face and voice level while they talk.
- Call your pediatrician if you cannot place it. That is a normal call.
Avoid this
- "Who told you that?!" The shock is what closes the conversation.
- Asking again the next day, and the next. Repetition reshapes what they say.
- Deciding what happened before you have asked one open question.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF
- You cannot find an ordinary source after asking once.
- The knowledge is specific and adult in kind, not vague.
- It is showing up in their play with other children.
- It arrived with changes in mood, sleep or toileting.
- They ask you to keep it secret, or say somebody else did.
Why the book suggests this
Children collect information constantly and from everywhere — an older cousin, a screen left on, a playground conversation, a half-heard adult joke. Most of the time the source exists and can be found by asking once, in a friendly voice.
The reason this has a page is that specific, adult-shaped knowledge with no findable source is one of the few things prevention research treats as worth acting on rather than watching. Acting means asking a professional. It does not mean investigating your own child.
Related prepared situations
What happened next?
From this collection
Same Words: Their Own Body
45 prepared situations in this family area.