Across the Same Words collection
Children’s body boundaries, hugs and unwanted touch
Browse unwanted hugs, kisses, tickling and requests for personal space. Find the Same Words book covering your child’s body-boundary situation. 15 situation overviews from 3 books.
My child goes stiff when a relative offers a hugTheir Own Body · Who may touchAn aunt reaches out for a hug, and the child's body becomes stiff. A familiar family greeting pauses between the adult's open arms and the child's visible reluctance.→"Give Grandma a kiss" — and everyone is watchingTheir Own Body · Who may touchA family greeting turns uncomfortable when a child is expected to offer a kiss and does not move toward it. Grandma is waiting, other people are watching, and the child's hesitation is suddenly public.→Tickling that went past funnyTheir Own Body · Who may touchTickling begins as shared laughter but continues after it stops feeling funny for the child. Play crosses an invisible point where the same touch has a different meaning.→"Stop" gets ignored in the middle of rough playTheir Own Body · Who may touchDuring rough play, a child says stop and the activity continues. Excitement, movement, and laughter make a clear boundary easy for the other person to overlook.→Someone scoops them up without askingTheir Own Body · Who may touchSomeone lifts the child without asking first. Their body leaves the ground in another person's arms before they have agreed to the contact or understood it was coming.→Hugs children who are backing awayTheir Own Body · Who may touchThe child moves in to hug another child who is backing away. One child seeks closeness while the other's body is already showing a wish for more space.→Somebody at daycare wipes and changes themTheir Own Body · When someone has toAt daycare, another adult wipes or changes the child. Personal care happens outside the home with someone whose role includes necessary contact with the child's body.→Will not close the bathroom doorTheir Own Body · Private and not privateThe child uses the bathroom without closing the door. A private activity remains open to the household, while the child does not experience the doorway as a needed boundary.→Walks in on you in the bathroom or the bedroomTheir Own Body · Private and not privateThe child walks into the bathroom or bedroom while an adult wants privacy. A familiar person crosses a household boundary without recognizing that this room is temporarily separate.→Hands down their pants on the living room floorTheir Own Body · Private and not privateOn the living room floor, the child puts their hands inside their pants. A private bodily action is happening in a shared family space where other people can see.→Public restrooms — who goes in, and who waits whereTheir Own Body · Private and not privateA public restroom raises practical questions about which adult and child enter together and where anyone else waits. Privacy and supervision meet in a space used by strangers.→The rules about doors are different at their cousin's houseTheir Own Body · Private and not privateAt a cousin's house, bathroom and bedroom doors follow different rules from home. The child encounters another family's version of privacy inside a familiar relationship.→You walk in on two of them playing doctorTheir Own Body · Private and not privateAn adult walks in on two children playing doctor. Curiosity about bodies has become shared play, and the scene is discovered without context or an adult present from the beginning.→Personal space, theirs and other people'sBig Skills · With other childrenChildren move close to one another during play, and personal space becomes part of the interaction. One body may welcome the closeness while another needs more room to feel comfortable there.→A stranger comments in the supermarketEvery Grown-Up · Other people’s eyesIn a supermarket, a stranger comments on the child or the parent's handling of the moment. An ordinary errand suddenly includes an outside opinion from someone who knows nothing else about the family.→